Wimbledon 2011 women's semi-final: Victoria Azarenka v Petra Kvitova - live!
Good afternoon and welcome to our coverage of women's semi-finals day, brought to you from the not-so-comfortable surroundings of a cramped commentary box on Centre Court, as Serena and Venus Williams march towards their annual showdown in Saturday's final.
Oh.
Except there isn't a Williams in sight and instead we're left with two ovas, an enka and an icki.
The most famous of the ovas, Maria Sharapova, has filled the void left by the departed sisters, and half-killed poor Dominika Cibulkova as she laid down a statement of intent in the quarter-finals. The 2004 champion is the only player left to have won a grand slam title, or indeed reached a major final. But in the big-serving Sabine Lisicki, or "Boom Boom" as the German is known, Sharapova is up against an opponent who should give back as good as she gets.
But enough about them for the time being. Before that there's the matter of the Belarusian fourth seed and the highest-ranked player left, Victoria Azarenka, against the Czech eighth seed and last year's semi-finalist, Petra Kvitova. Play starts at 1pm.
Xan hasn't gone on strike like many of the country's workers today, just in case you were wondering. Instead, he's swapped the rain-threatened surroundings of the All England Club for the warmer climes of Spain, where he's interviewing none other than Antonio Banderas.
The Voice of Wimbledon has already informed us there's a threat of showers this afternoon, 50% to be exact. Not that it matters quite so much today, with both matches on Centre, where the roof can be called into action, as it has so many times during this fortnight.
"I'm a Kiwi gracing the Netherlands with my presence," writes Anthony Ford. "I'm trying to gauge the local support for any of the semi-finalists but it seems the Dutch are interested in only one sport for females: Fierljeppen (canal pole vault) . Me? I pick Azarenka to go all the way." Crikey, I've never seen that before. Maybe Wimbledon should introduce something similar over the Centre Court net? Or even the roof? Five minutes or so to go until the players come out, so time for the Royal Box roll call. Jack Nicklaus? Present. Robert Redford? Present. Cliff Richard? Present. Gloria Hunniford? Present. Dame Maggie Smith? Present. Pippa Middleton and General Guthrie of Craigiebank ? Sadly absent. Though we do have HRH Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark, which sounds nearly as good.Ear Gauges Plugs - News
You'd have to get your finger on the mute button, or failing that invest in some heavy-duty ear plugs. Kvitova is again forced to save a break point, before rattling off the next two points. After barely dropping a point on serve in the first set,
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